Desperate

I'm frusterated, uncomfortable, confused, and desperate...to name just a few emotions I'm feeling right now. Since Roger's was released from work back in February he's struggled with application processes for many police departments; we assume they are looking for experience and education. He's considered going back to school, but hasn't completely jumped on the idea.

I was scheduled for an induction today because the other woman scheduled for induction today had her baby over the weekend, so I was suppose to have her slot. However, since another patient came in needing an induction that wasn't based upon a circumstantial situation she took my slot.

Now I'm STUCK. Our state assistance ends tomorrow with the former state we were residing in and we didn't qualify for state assistance in the current state we are residing. We are now left with no insurance to continue prenatal care or a doctor to deliver the baby. With these extrenuous circumstances I'm just gonna have to wait to deliver when this baby is ready, going into a hospital that knows nothing about me, and delivering me with stresses of how we're gonna pay for the expenses and potentially arguing with a doctor who could possibly attempt to deliver me again my birth plan.

Ever see the movie Knocked Up? When main character goes into the hospital to deliver her baby, her doctor is in another country, and her spouse has to argue with the doctor to follow her birth plan. Unfortunately, Roger hasn't been as supportive as I would like at this point... but then again I might be carrying some high expectations.

I'm beyond disappointed, especially because at home natural induction hasn't worked.. the kids are full of energy and I'm left with none...I'm ready for this baby and he's not here.

Feel free to comment, but this is my little vent session for today.