First Dayz as a Police Wife

I have to say I'm a TAD Frazzled. So much has happened since last week and it partially had to do with one of the BIGGEST days of our LIVES. My husband inherited a new name. We will now refer to him as Mr. Popo.

Well, Mr. Popo finally graduated the Police Academy. He's wanted to be a police officer since he was in high school! We've been through soo much getting to where we are today. He was honorably discharged from the Army as a Military Police Officer in 2007. We moved from Washington State to Maryland where he worked with his dad doing repairs for thrift stores until he was able to find a better job. We thought things were finally starting to come together as he was completing applications for law enforcement and landed a Top Secret Security job with a government contractor in 2008. We had our daughter and he traveled frequently, making our time spent together bittersweet; the reason we unexpectedly conceived our youngest. While I was pregnant he was laid off because they declassified the material he was working with, no longer needing security. We were on unemployment when we moved again to a bigger place with cheaper rent. Barely making it, the same government contractor offered him a different position within the sector. It was a long commute, but the mula made it worth it. A couple months later he finally received an acceptance letter into Prince George's County Police Deparment. He started the Police Academy in May and has endured eight long months of frequent 5-10 mile runs, an insane amount of physical training, being tazed with a stun gun, sprayed with pepper spray, spent a lot of time writing mock reports, and hittin' the books.
WE FINALLY MADE IT!!!!!!!!

Mr. Popo graduated from the academy on January 5th and thoroughly enjoyed his first night on the job on Monday. Since he has started I've been....well...FRAZZLED. Yeah, that's maybe the best word to use for now. With everything we've been through many might think, "Pshh, this is no big deal." I've handled his deployments to Iraq, frequent vendetta's as a government contractor. All throughout the academy, I even thought, this is going to be a piece of cake!

Who was I kidding!? Monday he came home sharing his 'statistics' and how he had to draw his gun on the first night. 1/2 of me was excited for him, I was soo happy that he was finally LIVING his dream, and I felt like a little girl listening to a synopsis of one of my favorite television shows, COPS. However, the other 1/2 of me just wanted to scream! I can't even explain it exactly. When he was in Iraq and I would hear or see things on the news before I heard from him, my anxiety level was through the roof. But this was different, he's so close to home, yet so far away. He came home and I just wanted to hold him, thankful that he was safe... and he just wanted to sleep.

Of course I let him sleep, but this is where I began to understand how detrimental it would be; how what happens at home, could affect his abilities at work. I woke up the next morning with the kids and closed the curtains making a darker room. Made dinner at 11am so he would have something to take with him. The past couple nights I've been alone, unable to sleep, and trying to teach myself how to let go of all of this worry.

I've been spending more time with my kids, more time on house cleaning, and more time on facebook. Although, I secretly hope that he'll wake up at tad earlier than usual, just to spend 10 minutes alone with me - BERFORE he begins shining his boots, ironing his uniform, adjusting his gear, and polishing his name tag. I'm learning that while he's not around like he used to be, his first job is a Police Officer, THEN a husband, and father to our children.

From what I have experienced this week, being a Police wife means having lots of trust, love, and worry, but when he says, "I love you," it makes it all worthwhile.