My Lesson of a Child's Comprehension

Every Thursday is our date night. It all started with the show Burn Notice. A spy series that both my husband and I love! Since we've moved into our new home (which I'm soo in love with and never want to leave) we've also ordered Vinny's on thursday nights.

For those of you that keep up on my status updates on Facebook know that my husband and I have come along a bumpy stretch of our relationship. The basis of it is the fact that I feel underappriciated for everything I do. I'm sure this is true for most of you mothers out there. But it hurts me the most when his parents give him money to buy things we wouldn't be able to afford. Then instead of spending the money on things that could benefit the family, he has spent it on things that he wants. There is more to it, but I'm not going to continue ranting about my frustrations. I'm still slightly upset about the whole situation because I don't feel that we have completely come to a reasonable compromise. *Ah, the joys of marriage*

Since the beginning of this bumpy road where 'Momma has just had enough', instead of yelling, screaming, and throwing things (what some in my family growing-up see as an effective way of handling things) I explained myself to my husband and when he still didn't understand, I took my frustration out in silence, but emerge myself in THEREPUTIC CLEANING. I was soo distrought I broke my mop!

So on my way to pick-up our dinner from Vinny's (my favorite place for greesy Italian - they have calazone's!) I took Nikholi with me, so we could spend some one-on-one time together. As we were pulling out of the driveway he noticed that Roger pulled our garbage barrel to the curb; which isn't an easy task because our driveway is really long. And when Nikholi told me about it he said it in a taddling tone (because its something I normally take care of). I assured him that it was okay and told him that it was nice of dad to take out the trash for me.

His response gave me my first lesson on a child's comprehension. He told me that "Dad is filling up the bottom of the heart," explaining it to me like a meter of love. "The heart was cracked and now you guys are starting to put it back together." My eyes wallowed in the tears I was trying to hold back. I thought that screaming, yelling, and throwing things, would cease the hurt my child feels; attempting to help them avoid the pain I felt growing up. They say "actions speak louder than words" and even though I chose to handle the situation silently instead of verbally, the frustration and heart ache was still recognized.

Roger was gone majority of this week, staying nights in a hotel, helping his dad with a building structure. So I'm sure that only added to Nikholi's understanding of the situation as I felt more pain with him gone. I've survived deployments and vendettas, but it's difficult to survive, even a day, if your mad at each other when seperated.

Then to lighten the mood of my new lesson learned, as we were walking into the resturant to pick-up our order, we passed a couple families, and Nikholi LOUDLY says, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT HAVING ANY MORE KIDS!" Hiding my face in embarrassment and understanding that my child knows way too much about my personal life!